Finding old friends and moving forward

I recently signed up on Facebook. yeah.. I know.. for someone who claims to be all into the internet and what not, I'm a bit behind the times on this one. I'm on Myspace, but I never had the time or the inclination to be up there. So I was kind of avoiding Facebook thinking that it was all the same. But I was wrong.

I LOVE logging onto Facebook. I've found so many old friends and current friends. All the memories have been flooding back. I even found all my old HS yearbooks and my sorority photos from way back. Gosh, how young we all were! And to be honest... it's easier to manage on Facebook.

Although I don't usually recall my HS days fondly, I do remember many good times with some incredibly good friends. I'm looking forward to repairing some friendships that may have been so foolishly mangled while being young and stupid. Also, there were people that I never really got to know or who, at the time and for whatever reasons - (not the right crowd, didn't play a sport, etc.) - didn't get to know me. I'm hoping that perhaps, after almost 20 years, we can find some commonalities now that might warrant a new friendship.

While it's very exciting, it is still very scary -- what do these people remember about me? Was I a complete A$$hole to some people? I'm pretty sure I was to some people. And I hope they don't hold it against me after so many years. I admit.. I still cringe when I think about how some people treated me years ago.

But those moments shaped me and influenced my decisions - even today.

Moving forward feels really good.

Focus and Clarity Desired

I may not be posting for a while. I'm trying to revamp this blog to contain more focus and clarity. This is just all over the place. No central point except to have a blog and that's so dumb.

I have so many passions, hobbies and interests of my own that posting everything to this blog becomes unmanageable and cumbersome. Not to mention that it's hard to read. I don't even want to come back here. What value is there?

A blog should have some sort of point/reason for existence. So I'm going back to the drawing board and will (hopefully) come back with something that people will be interested in reading about and revisiting often.

Playing catch up....

Wow. I've been so busy lately. Now I have to catch up on a few things.

So I had my first wine tasting events last weekend. Not too bad. I was a little rusty on the first night. My second went really smooth. It was a lot of fun and I felt really comfortable. The wines I'm tasting are really good and I'm even liking some of the reds - which I've never usually enjoyed before. Maybe it's because I know how to really "taste" them now and experience them fully.

On a sadder note, the father of one of my DS(5)'S classmates passed away on Saturday in a motorcycle accident. The man had 3 children - 4, 5, and 13. The oldest is taking it VERY hard. She really is devastated. I just feel terrible for the whole family. I can't (and don't want to) imagine having to explain to the little ones that daddy's not coming home ever again. I had to explain it to my DS tonight because the teacher will be telling the class tomorrow. Apparently, the mother wants the kids back in school to regain some sort of routine and normalcy. And they may be back on Monday. DS listened very intently as we explained that his friend's father had a motorcycle accident and is in Heaven. And we talked about how his friend will likely be sad and angry and may act out. We discussed how and in what ways he could be a good friend to this boy. DS listened very nicely and then, without skipping a beat, asked "can I have dessert now?"

And I was SOOOO nervous talking to him about it. I thought he'd freak out and think that my DH would go to Heaven too. But we'll see. He tends to process information for a while. I'll probably get the inquisition in a few days.

Now to flip to much happier stuff: we're just DAYS away from Disney. DS is jumping out of his skin - he's so excited. And DH and I are RIGHT behind him! I'm so excited for this trip. I really think we're going to have a great time. I've been dowloading podcasts from ITUNES to listen to at work. I can't wait to go!!! I'll have pics up ASAP.

Well, that's enough of a post for tonight. I've been contemplating how to make this blog a little more interesting. I may include some recipes and other information on a more regular basis. Still considering popular topics.

Starting up

So I got my starter kit for my new direct marketing home business. I thought there'd be more training materials in it. So now I'm scrambling to find information that's been posted here and there on various websites, message boards and blogs to help train myself. I'm still very excited about this whole thing and the possibility of having SOME SORT of income should anything happen.

I'm still figuring out all the in's and out's of the publicity part and how/if I'll still be able to promote myself on my own blog - which would be VERY helpful I might add. I was hoping to use the blog as a supplement - to give information for my guests and hosts. But I'll have to find a different way to do it. oh well...

I'm only one "show" away from making my starter requirement. Hopefully, I can generate some interest soon. Do you have a home business? What do you do? How do you keep your business going?

A step in a new direction

Well, I've started my new direct sales business. Unfortunately, current policies and guidelines prevent me from posting much about it or promoting it here.

I'm very excited about it. It looks to be an incredible new experience.

I was a Pampered Chef consultant for 6 years and did pretty well with it. It also allowed me the flexibility to earn some cash and still be home for my DS while he was still small. In order to pay for Pre-school, I had to go back to work in the corporate world for a little while. Although it was a fun biz, I just wasn't making enough to guarantee coverage of the preschool bill.

But now the dude's going to Kindergarten - YEAH!!! FREE SCHOOL!!!

But I still have some lingering bills and responsibilities. So I decided to go with what I "know." and that's direct sales/home parties. I'm comfortable with it and I really like it. And it will allow him to be in the AM Kindergarten if need be while giving me some cash.

So although I was hoping to utilize this blog to post some interesting information about the industry and "products," I'm not allowed.

So I'll have to keep it as generic as possible. If you'd like to know what it's all about, then email me directly.

Today's Mommy Blog

My DS is still sick. After looking at WebMD, I'm thinking it's whooping cough. Even though he's had all his vaccines, it's still possible that a mild case may appear. All the symptoms sound right, but we'll find out later today when we go back to the MD. [UPDATE: not whooping cough - just an ear infection and pink eye - still yucky, but easier to treat!]

i hate feeling so out of control. I've been eating non-stop (and not really the healthy kind of eating either). Yes... I self-medicate with food. I'm fully aware of it. I'm working on it. But thats a blog for another day...

I've been forcing myself to stay awake as late as possible so I can hear him. I have the old baby monitor out in the hopes that I can hear something if I need to. We have the vicks, humidifier, coughing med, etc all going. But he's still hacking away. So I'm very tired. And we've been home together almost all week now.

It's been a LONG time since we've been in each other's company like this for a while. It's different when you can't take them out to the library or for a couple of hours with a playdate. We've played all the toys, all the puzzles, all the board games.

Home sick with not much to do --- let's just say we're both getting on each other's nerves.

How can loving someone be so hard and so easy at the same time?

A small sigh of relief

So I'm going to start up a new home biz by the end of this week. I've decided to become a consultant for The Traveling Vineyard. It's kind of like Tupperware, Mary Kay or The Pampered Chef, except for wine. However, I won't exactly be selling the wine, just marketing it and allowing people to sample them before they buy them. Once I'm all set up, I'll provide a link to my website.

I went to a tasting a couple of years ago and it was a lot of fun. I learned alot about how to tell a good wine, what to look for, and how to better match wine with certain foods/meals. I love to do work that will allow me to learn more of something, too. My DH is very excited about it.

I'm excited about it --- and the extra money it will bring in. Not to mention I'll be able to write off most of my gas, phone, internet, postage, etc. expenses again. That will be huge come next April. And this will allow me to provide some income while DS is in school this year. So now I don't have to worry about the whole Kindergarten thing. If he's in the AM, I'll have this to fall back on. If he's in full day, I'll be able to find something part time and still use this to supplement. And again, I'll have some more tax deductible expenses.

So for the moment, I can breathe a small sigh of relief.

Scrapbooking Tip of the Week 3/9/08

I read this in a magazine somewhere a while back and I wish I could remember so that I could give them proper credit. But, nowadays, with the need to rein in my expenses, this little tip is saving me TONS!

Do you ever work on a layout and run out of a certain paper? Maybe it was a cool patterned paper and you just don't have enough to use for the little embellishments.

Here's an easy tip to save on $$ and paper:

When you've decided where to drop your pics, cut out the paper BEHIND the picture! Leave a little bit of room so that you can still adhere the pic to the page. For instance, when adhering a 4x6 pic to your layout, cut out a 3.5x5.5 piece of paper from behind the picture. This will give you either another nice matte to work with or some extra matching paper to use for embellishments (like tags or chipboard, etc.).

My basic rule of thumb is to make the cut about 1/2 inch inside size of the picture. For smaller pieces (like some embellishments), trust your own judgment. Just make sure you don't cut the scrap the same size of what's going over the "hole." You need to make sure you have something to stick your picture to!

Now instead of needing to buy 3 pages of the same paper, I can still get by with two or even just ONE!

Happy scrapping!

Lost Recaps from Ack Attack

If you LOVE Lost, then you MUST head over to ack attack for the hilarious recaps. I have it posted in my links.

I was just over there and a post was up containing this link for JACK FACES. LMFAO.

The show can make you go nuts with all the clues, hidden messages and such. It really makes you think. So head over to these sites to lighten up Lost a bit.

Nah... you don't want to read this....

AHA! There is hope! if you're reading this, it means that there is some glimmer of hope that reverse psychology still works.

I wish I could "guide" my son more often through reverse psych. I love it love it love it!

DS and I play this "game." I tell him to NOT eat those veggies or whatever healthy food happens to be on the plate. And of course, he eats it. I tell him that "yeah... I'll help you get dressed." and he comes running with a super mischievous laugh and starts prancing in front of me to show off that he did it by himself.

Now don't get me wrong... he knows when I've said NO for real. There's no mistaking THAT kind of no. But this game of opposites certainly makes my life a little easier. I know that I can make lunch while he's [not] eating breakfast. I can actually get myself ready in the AM while he's [not] getting dressed by himself. I can clean the [fill in the blank!] when he's [not] cleaning up his toys.

Sometimes I wish I could do it on myself... like... DON'T EXERCISE or EAT THE CAKE. But whenever I say THAT to myself, I actually listen. So it doesn't quite work as well.

oh well...

I guess I'll just NOT clean the kitchen...

Today's Mommy Blog

Oh the guilt! Today was pajama day in honor of Dr. Seuss' birthday. Lo and behold.. I forgot. We got to school and the tears flowed because my DS (dear son) was not wearing his pajamas - mommy forgot! As he clinched his arms around my neck and bawled his little eyes out and I'm standing there, already late for work, my heart just broke into a million pieces.

How can I be such an absent-minded mother? What a bad mom I am. And to make it worse, I said goodbye to him, letting him think I went off to work. but little did he know that the guilt/love I was experiencing would lead me to call work, tell them I'll be late, negotiate traffic back home, grab pajamas, negotiate traffic back to the school -- all so my DS would have a good day! Whew!

TADA!!!! I'm back!! and WITH PAJAMAS!!!!! MOM'S A HERO!!! YEAH!!!! The world is a better place now that mommy returned with pajamas!

Oh, if my only worry could be to not forget to wear pajamas to work!

Which leads me to my next pondering to ponder... lately the debate over SAHMS and working moms have come back into the spotlight. I've been on both sides of the coin and I believe there is no RIGHT or WRONG. When I was home, I felt guilty about spending money on myself without contributing to the overall fiscal health of our family. When I'm at work, I'm guilty of not being available for classroom parties and field trips. So I frantically fret over finding some "happy" medium. -- HA!

But you see, there is always a balance going on in the world... If all mothers stayed home, there would be too many to volunteer for those activities and some of us would be either puttering around anyway with other chores or tasks. I figure if I'm going to toil away at something, I may has well get paid for it.

I'm of the opinion that this whole "debate" between SAHMS, WAHMS and working moms is a totally contrived argument. We as parents do what's necessary to keep our family's stable. Whether it's depending on us to provide some financial assistance to do those special activities, or if it's being present for them. We do what we need to do, when we need to do it. Some of us may flip back and forth between being a SAHM and being a working mom. Some of us go the "middle road" and find success as a WAHM.

More power to all of us for being so flexible and resilient.... and, more importantly, able to bring pajamas on pajama day.

I wanna be rich

Money seems to be the all consuming topic these days. The economy is in the toilet. People are losing their homes. Credit Debt is at an all time high.

Wouldn't it be nice to not worry about such things? Imagine having your house paid for.... your cars paid for.... perhaps even college tuition already taken care of... ahhhhh.....

imagine that every dollar you earn (aside for taxes) is actually YOURS.... wouldn't it be nice...?

it's nice to dream every once in a while...

But --SLAP--- it's back to reality.

many people say money can't buy happiness. But I'm pretty sure it can buy peace of mind.. which can lead to happiness. I certainly know that if I had more peace of mind, I'd be a happier person.

that familiar smile

Today marks the 2nd anniversary of my dad's passing. This picture was taken shortly before he died.

I miss him alot. He loved playing with my son. He doted on him so much. Dad was fascinated with EVERYTHING my son did. He spoiled my son so much and I loved it, too.

It makes me sad that he's not here and Carter is missing out on all that extra love and playfulness. Dad was the type of man open to all experiences. He didn't shy away from trying new foods, going to different places. And my parents always encouraged my brother and I to also not be afraid to do something different - to take some chances. Dad was very laid back, though. While he could get angry and frustrated (he WAS German and Irish!! LOL!), for the most part, he took things in stride. As you can see, even at almost 65 years old, he was very happy to be sledding with the kids.

Yesterday, my mom gave me a stack of old photos from his days in Vietnam. My dad was always a photographer at heart. And he was good enough to also label the photos on the back with the names of the people in the pics. My dad NEVER talked about his days in Vietnam. even when I had school assignments to learn more about the war, he just couldn't help. All I know is that he did 2 tours and was caught up in the TET offensive. I'm very motivated to try to find the people in the pictures and maybe learn more about my dad from a different perspective than my family's. I understand it was different over there and, sure, there will likely be information that I'm not going to like to hear, but I'm eager to find out more. I'm hoping that it will be easier to find some of the people on the internet and such. I wonder if people would remember him and respond to my inquiries.... it's a scary venture.

Right now, it's just awesome to look through the pictures and see that familiar smile.

In memoriam - Jim K. 3/2/06

Should I or shouldn't I?

This is the cake I made for my son for his birthday. The cars are also edible, made from scratch using my sons toys as models.

I'm thinking of perhaps having a side biz making specialty cakes like this. What do you think?

Our kids are stupid....

...because, despite having a free, public school system, there is no room/$ for the fundamental schooling they could get from Kindergarten.

I'm stressing right now over the fact that, in order to make ends meet, I need to work. However, our local Elementary school only has ONE (1) full day Kindergarten class. And that class will be filled at 22 kids. THEN, there is only an AM Kindergarten. PM Kindergarten is not an option.

Oh and did I mention that the after school program is not really an AFTER SCHOOL program. It starts at 3. So if my kid is in AM Kindergarten, there is nowhere to send him after school while I'm at work. There is kind of a PM K, but it's only for Special Education students (who are probably getting their education subsidized even further by state grants).

My only other option for full day Kindergarten is to send him to a parochial school and pay tuition. And I'm not even at permanent job (I'm only temping - it's the only thing I could find in this economy right now). So I may not even have a job come September. So if I pay the deposit for the parochial school and send him there, then how am I supposed to pay for it if I don't have a job (or a paying-enough job) by then?

This is so flippin crazy!

at least if the school had a PM Kindergarten, I'd be able to do something PT, since he could participate in the afterschool program. But NOOOOOOO! Why couldn't they put the special kids in the morning?!!!

And to top it all off, we won't know WHICH (AM or full day) he gets into until August - just before school starts. It seems the administrators need some SPECIAL education!

I'm so frakkin PO'd about all this! UGH!!!!!

AMBER ALERT

I've confirmed with snopes.com and the following is a true Amber Alert. Unfortunately, it's been in effect for about 2 years. Hopefully, by posting it on a blog where many people can (hopefully) see it, it just might help find this little girl.

http://www.snopes.com/inboxer/missing/reachelle.asp

Random Ramblings

This is probably one of many ramblings about nothing. My socks keep falling down and almost off in my boots. It's so irritating. I'm not even walking around. I'm just sitting here and the next thing I know, my sock is bunched up in the ball of my foot. So I have to take off my boot, fix my sock, and put my boot back on. And my feet don't smell nice when they're in my boots, so it's a potentially embarrassing situation when it happens at work.

Thank goodness for CBS airing its full episodes online. I somehow managed to miss Jericho this week. I keep forgetting that it's on after The Biggest Loser on Tuesday nights. I was able to plug in my headphones and watch/listen to it while I took care of some administrative stuff here at work. it certainly helped the time go by. I love what I do, but sometimes the little things can get a bit mundane. So having that access was cool. I just wish I could access YouTube. I'd be laughing all day!

I really want to win the lottery, but I don't have the money to spend on the tickes? (which is where the lottery would be extremely helpful!) Can anyone assist with that and make sure I win?

I was so tempted to contact that couple in GA that won the $270M jackpot. My request would only be a drop in the bucket (mere pennies compared to their winnings). But then I thought about all the tax repercussions, etc. and it seemed like more work. I'd rather just win the money. LOL!

Sick Day

Today was a sick day. My son has a cold and we went to the doctor's to get it checked out. Nothing serious. I could have gone back to work, but he was still coughing a bit, so decided to stay home.

It's funny that when you first decide to stay home for a day - a million things run through your mind that you want to do: dishes, laundry, vacuuming, or even working on a hobby. It's now late afternoon and the one thing I've done today is SLEEP. It wasn't a completely zonked out kind of sleep, cuz I still had the dude to take care of. But he's old enough that he can play and I can take a snooze on the couch in the same room.

So much for having HIM rest at home!

So now that I've had my power nap, I'm mulling around all the things that I should be doing since I'm home and now have a couple hours left to my sick day before "real time" catches up to me. And of course, instead of doing all those things or even starting them, I'm procrastinating on this blog. AHHHHH... another distraction.

Oh well... I guess I better get back upstairs and at least clean the kitchen.

What I'm watching...

The Biggest Loser - LOVE IT! I love Bob and Jillian. I'm glad they got rid of the blonde chick, Kim. She was nagging and obnoxious. Plus she kept regressing to low behavior like cursing at the houseguests. There are other ways to relate to people on their level. Every week these people inspire me to do better.

If they can lose 100+ pounds in just 4 months, then i should be able to lose 60 in a year...

Lost Theories

Ok. There's so much to think about when it comes to this show. The writing and the dialogue are just amazing!!! I wish I could be that creative and imaginative.

So here are my thoughts on this latest episode about kate:

Aaron appears to be about 2-3 years old. So how long have they been off the island at the point of the trial? Aaron was about 3m old in the flashback/island time. So that leaves me to wonder the time lapse between the trial and Jack's breakdown.

I do wonder who will make up the 8 - even if it IS all a lie (according to jack's testimony). I'm wondering who they will say the other two were...

And of course, I'm wondering what happened on the island to everyone else when we KNOW that 40 people survived the crash, but Jack's story says only 8. hmmmm....

television that really makes you think and stretch your imagination is absolute genius. I LOVE it!

I work only to pay for daycare so I can work.

I don't know how some people do it... The public school system in our area has ONE full day Kindergarten class in my district's elementary school. And it's lottery based up to 22 kids. So then all the other kids are put in 1/2 day classes. And the school system happily provides afterschool care BUTTTTTTTT only from 3pm. So for all those 1/2 day kindergarteners who REALLY need the afterschool care and are not at an age that can be left alone or be a latch key kid..... there's NOTHING!

This is so freakin aggravating.

It's likely my son will be in one of the 1/2 day programs. I can only hope it's the afternoon so that I can at least have him in the afterschool care and possibly be able to work part time.

Otherwise, I'm forced to have him in daycare or some sort of extended care for even longer so that I can work all day just to pay for the extended care. Ugh!

Is there nothing affordable in this world? We need for me to work at least part time. I'm gonna do the Independent consultant thing again, but I can't totally rely on it, particularly if I need to do something like 10-15 demos in a month just to break even. It's heartbreaking. I'd never see my family cuz my weekends would be filled.

This is why our kids can't read. It's not that Kindergarten doesn't teach them, it's just that there's not enough Kindergarten to go around. So of course they can't read in 1st grade. If I have to choose between working so we can eat and sending him to 1/2 day kindergarten and staying home, then there's really no choice. I'm fortunate that I might be able to send him to a parochial school for Kindergarten that has a full day and afterschool care. But then I still have to find the job, too, now. I was hoping to be able to cut back to part time and be home a little bit, but not to the point where I'm off the market.

9-11:30 does not make for good part time work!

it's hopeless. I'm so friggin upset. I have to find SOMETHING! gosh this really sucks...

October Spice Kit - BONUS sketch! - Scrapdango Gallery

October Spice Kit - BONUS sketch! - Scrapdango Gallery

This is a cool layout from ScrapDango.com. I love sketches!!! This will be cool to duplicate in my albums.

One Step forward...

I feel like I'm coming out of the hole today. Still no exercise this week, but I've been getting more sleep and feeling more energized again. I also tracked everything yesterday and noticed that I'm WAYYYY under range. So that could be part if it too. I may be going way over or way under and not being consistent.

And the last few weeks, I was also not sticking to my personal rule of not eating after 7pm. Last night I stuck to my rule, and I'm feeling better this morning too.

So now I still need to plan the meals a bit better for the next week, plus get in my exercise again, and I'll be back on track.

It's so hard. Some people just don't understand just how difficult it really is to lose weight. Or they don't understand that it really does consume your day. Every minute of the day seems to be focused on what I'm eating - is it enough, is it too much? did I exercise today? if not, when will I fit it in? It seems like simple math - the less that goes in and the more energy you expend = weight loss. But there's so much more mentally involved. I can't explain why, but sometimes it's like a brick wall preventing me from meeting my goal.

It's too high, so I have to build steps to get over it and then how do I get down? it's scary. It's a big leap to take. and often that leap is scarier than the journey.

I have no idea what life will be like when I reach my goal weight. Will I turn shallow and materialistic? I hope not. Will I still be consumed with how I look? probably. These are some of the other questions that get in my way and make me start panicking.

But for now, I have to just take it one step at a time.... FORWARD.

money musings

I have to buy my lottery tickets today. I know.. they really are such a waste of money, but the chance of being a winner just sucks me right in. I don't normally play. But when there's a large sum, i generally get in on the action.

i used to think that I wouldn't quit working if I won the lottery, but lately, i've changed my mind. there are so many other FUN things to do in life. perhaps I might try working for myself and finding a hobby that would bring in a few bucks here and there, but for the most part, just bring me enjoyment. that would be a really nice change.

Welcome to More Than Me

After much thought and consideration, I've decided to consolidate my various blog postings into one place. It has become rather unmanageable to blog at so many places to which I'm a member. So here I am.

There is so much more to me.